Kissing A Shinobi's Ass
by DirkSamuelsMusicTheory
Summary: Naruto isn't as dumb as he looks.  Pre-Naruto series, Darker Naruto. IruNaru Fic.


A/N:

**I don't own Naruto, Misashi Kishimoto does.**

**(**Dedicated to my brother.**)** Why you ask? Cause he doesn't think I can write a decent Naruto fic. MWAHAHA!

Enjoy.

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Uzumaki Naruto had it tough.

Most of the village hated his guts and as a result his home was often graffitied on by not just the local Kohnoha thugs, but also your normal everyday citizens of the Leaf village.

He spent a great chunk of his time in a run down apartment around the outskirts of town near the red light district. Curtsey to the landlord he never had hot water, and curtsey to the Hokage's small allowance given to him- it seemed his food was almost always spoiled.

At school his crush ignored him, and at 'home' he had no parental figures. He was alone, and he was scared.

He was just a little boy.

The only joy he had was at school, there he could at least learn how to defend himself.

That was where the Iruka Umino, his instructer, would give him warm smiles and gentle pushes to reach outside of himself. Iruka was like a big brother- he cared enough to talk to him and take him out for dinner but when he needed emotional comfort he'd vanish in an awkward cloud of excuses, not that Naruto minded much.

Nodding a bit he bit the inside of his lip anxiously. His eyes narrowed into thin slits of excitement.

_Just a bit...come on! Yeeees! She looked at me! _

Sakura walked into his direction with a cute smile tugging a her lips. Naruto's cheeks blazed with a hot, red warmth.

"Hey-"

"Yeah..." He breathed out shyly.

"-Sasuke-Kun," She continued, not hearing the blonde at all, "let me help you wih those scrolls!"

Sakura, a shy pink haired girl brushed past a stricken Naruto nonchalantly. Like he wasn't there. Slowly his pounding heart slowed into an angry, thick beat.

Of course she couldn't see him! He was bent back into the darkness with his blank attitude! He was and would forever remain invisible unless he did something drastic. It was the same thing every grade. Even when he was switched around because of his age, they all ignored him.

He needed to do something!

Something worth remembering.

He continued to fiddle with his denim black shorts, and sat down in an unnoticeable corner. His angry blush faded.

Filled with disappointment he hid behind his hands.

After classes ended he'd be back in the harsh side of town, surrounded by drunks, and hateful people.

He wanted to cry, but real ninja's didn't did they?

He began to think of how one can be imagining the world to be great and harmless when in the reality it can really be just as cruel and heartless_._

How odd it was that we always wanted what we didn't have.

It's was Strange. And he simply don't understand. Life could certainly be cruel, only none of the smiling kids in his class had experienced his pain. His suffering to just stay alive.

Jumping he heard the bell ring sharply.

The training to be ninja students sighed with relief and began chatting happily.

Naruto watched Sakura stand up and grab her scrolls hastily after looking longingly at Sasuke, who was slowly putting away his scrolls and notes for Jutsu's and upcoming tests.

"Sorry I couldn't help much." He heard her say to the Uchiha.

The Uchiha grunted, as tears welled up in Sakura's eyes. She had been overwhelmed with feelings that couldn't possibly ever be directed to Naruto. No, not the current him.

He would become noticeable.

Not just for Sakura but for himself.

He would become Hokage.

Naruto smiled a pained smile, and scratched the back of his head. Crawling up off of his knees he dusted off and left the room.

Ah- actually not before scrunching up his drawing and aiming at the back of Iruka's head, who was conveniently facing the old chalk board with a stack of messy notes in hand.

He cracked a smile.

Eyes squinting foxily he sprinted out of the room, unintentionally drawing Iruka's attention to the orange in his attire.

Iruka took a moment to take in the information that the shy boy Uzumaki Naruto, had thrown a piece of paper at him. And had run away.

Well fuck?

Iruka bent down to pick up the note, and then noticed some writing on it. Eh? He squinted and opened the sheet cautiously.

'Meet me on top of the Hokage monument!' It said in squiggly, sloppily written kanji. Iruka stared.

No way...

He then ran out of the room, effectively startling a few students in the process. Gasping he finally reached the base of the monument.

His eyebrows furrowed with the pure intent to reach the top.

"For Naruto." He muttered, and then ran up, up, up, up...with steadily failing chakra enhanced soles.

"Agh...-" He'd finally swung his right arm to the top, as he nipped his nose past a rock that blocked his view.

There he saw Naruto with a... Rope.

No!

"Suicide is not the answer!" He wheezed out furiously to the young surprised boy.

"Suicide?" The boy echoed, and then curiously walked towards the dangling Iruka. "What are talking about?" He muttered to his panting sensei.

Iruka gapped.

"Then what in heavens name are you doing up here?" He struggled to breath, as his grip on the stones head loosened.

Naruto smiled.

Yeah, smiled. Iruka slackened his death hold on the crumbling rocks. "Naruto you just-" His voice was gentle, and his brown eyes were wide.

The blonde felt his heart stop.

Naruto soundlessly screamed, and then flung him self to the falling Umino Iruka.

"Got you!" He exclaimed, as he held the suddenly histerical sensei by his pinky.

"AghhhhhHGHHH!" Iruka screamed.

Naruto, with his other hand, gripped Iruka's arm and began to pull him up with his thin, and weak frame.

"Your okay!" He breathed out in relief once they both had made it safely to a flat surface on the top of Hiruzen-sans head.

"Y-yes." The brunette stuttered.

Naruto watched with a twinge of fear and guilt as his teacher's pale face gradually warmed up to it's usual heathy tan peach color.

"I'm going to make you suffer Naruto." He said lowly after a few thick minutes to the the shocked boy.

"S-sensei..."

"You have to spend a week dining with me at Ichiraku's."

Naruto's eyebrows met his hairline.

"W-what?" He stuttered.

Iruka heavily turned his head to meet his favorite, suddenly quiet, student.

"Promise me you won't take your life. I care for you and it would hurt me a lot if ever did such a thing."

Naruto opened his mouth cautiously.

"I wasn't going to take my life." He coughed inconspicuously. "Uh, actually I painted a mustache on the Hokage and wanted to show you." He finished in a low whisper.

Finally he peeked his eyes out to look at his 'brother' and saw he looked maliciously angry.

Wait scratch that.

He was angry because he loved Naruto.

But that still doesn't mean he wouldn't kick Naruto's ass.

"ITAI!" The blonde yelped as a loving fist met his skull.

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**A/N:**

** Yeah! What did you think of that? Heh this was fun to write so please review i would greatly appreciate it. Thank you...blah :)**


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